Shower and then Face the Consequences

As the mother of a "difficult" or "highly spirited" child, the thought of showering is daunting most days.  It looks more like a multiple choice test:

Do I
a) wash hair and rinse off the dirt as quickly as possible
b) do (a) plus add in shaving under arms
c) skip washing hair and opt for shaving legs instead
d) try to accomplish all of the appropriate bathing rituals and pray the entire time that my house isn't on fire.

If I opt for (d), that means that I will skip blow drying hair and putting on make-up.

If you've read previous posts you know that my nearly 5 yr old daughter could probably break out of Alcatraz.  At one point I wondered what the division of social services would think of me putting her in our large breed dog crate just so I could get a shower.

Sure I could get up at 5 am to shower before she wakes up or I could do it at 10 pm after everyone is in bed, the kitchen is cleaned up and the laundry is put away.  For some reason, I opt to try to beat her at the game.

My jewelry box is on the top shelf of my closet, I accept that all my nightstand table reads will be thoroughly flipped through and on the floor.  My freshly made bed will have been used as a trampoline with a pillow fort on the ground.  She will have helped herself to a snack that she climbed the tallest mountain to get and used some sharp object I swear I child-proofed to open it.  She will have poured herself a 32 oz bottle of milk in one of the huge bottles I take to work out.  She once climbed up onto a flipped over laundry basket, got keys to unlock my car so that she could get the garage door open and was outside riding her bike.

At this point I feel like I should give a million disclaimers about mine and my husband's level of education, professions and upbringing.  All of that is irrelevant when you are dealing with a difficult child.  After 5 years, she constantly keeps us on our toes and reminds us that even taking a shower is risky.  Child proofing can truly only mean keeping an eye on her 24 hours a day.

On days like today when my husband lets me sleep in a little extra, brings me my coffee and tells me to take my time and enjoy my shower, I fall in love with him all over again.

Cheers to washed and blow-dried hair, make up and even a little attention to the eyebrows.