EAT MY WORDS

I come from a family of strong-willed (and some may say opinionated) women.  Before we had kids my husband and I had an arsenal of phrases like:

• I will never let my kids ride in those RIDICULOUSLY large shopping carts that bump into everything and everyone.
• I will never let my child walk out of the house looking like that.  I will not let them decide what they are wearing when they are 3!
• I will never spank my child.
• I will not take my children to restaurants - restaurants are not for children.
• I won't let my children rule my life ~ we'll still have a social life beyond kids
• I'm not going to let myself go just because I have kids.

Oh oh oh how I have head to eat those words.  The bigger the shopping cart, the happier they are.  Don't forget to pick up the free balloons that they can bat at each other, you and innocent passers.  

And for clothes....who cares if they look like a fool if it avoids a fight in the morning.  If I can't manage to get myself dressed 98% of the time, it should be no surprise that my 4 yr old is wearing stripped stained pants with a top that doesn't match and hair falling in her eyes.  

Not to mention we have had to leave a restaurant or two because it seemed like they could handle the 45 minute outing.  We now know that restaurants with common outdoor patios, particularly with fountains, are perfect choices.  

Social life?  What is that?  Is that when Friday nights were something to look forward to for entirely different reasons?   Now I just want to go to bed by nine.  Having friends over for dinner has moved beyond a select menu inspired by Williams-Sonoma's best cookbooks for whatever we can manage to pull together with two toddlers pulling on our legs the entire time we cook.  I've given up on setting the table, linen napkins, a custom ipod playlist for the evening and coffee after dinner.  I left my hostess responsibilities in my 20's.

As for letting myself go...wait for tomorrow's blog.

All I can say is that I have a stomach ache from all of the words I have had to eat since I became a mother but I wouldn't change a minute of it.  I'm sorry for the moms I may have offended along the way in my total naivety, but I'm sure many have been through the same all you can eat buffet.

WAHM vs SAHM vs Work ~ it's all the same

I worked full time until my oldest turned one and we decided to take a step back...and by step back I started my own home based business catering to a custom industry.  It turned out to be more of a huge leap forward.

As we are expecting our 3rd, I have sold my business and am sticking to contract work that doesn't extend beyond 10 hours a week (we'll see if I maintain my boundaries...I've started blogging to avoid the laundry).

Today I had lunch with friend/work acquaintance from my professional years...she currently holds my old job.  She opted to be the full-time working mom with a husband that travels A LOT and has all of the guilt and stress that comes with it.

I nearly spit my drink out when she told me she envied all of her stay at home friends..."they look so well rested and pretty and put together". Who is she hanging out with?

I took me three hours to get me and my two kids ready to get out the door.  Two changes of clothes from accidents and a last minute decision to play with sidewalk chalk.  I went through my closet a million times to find something extending beyond t-shirts, capris and flip flops....I miss my career wear at times.  I straightened my hair with a flat iron to hide the fact that I didn't shower and my curls were sad looking.  I put my makeup on in the car.  I had to juggle around my husband's meeting schedule so he could have lunch with the kids to allow me 45 minutes of peace.  Walking to lunch I saw people I knew from my working days and pretended to be busy reading something fascinating on my phone.  They looked great!

The last thing I think of me or any of my fellow stay at home moms is that we look well-rested or put together (sorry girls).  We are all struggling just as much as the working moms or the work at home moms.  None of these choices are easier or better than the others.

But if someone could point me to a legal and non-cosmetic cheap option that leaves a mom of toddlers looking well-rested, SIGN ME UP and get a patent!