Nothing is "easy"

Our daughter (let's call her Lulu) is going to be a star litigator...she's four and I'd put all of my money on it.  This "strength" is not the easiest one to work with as a parent.   It's one my husband and I flippantly say "it will serve her well in the future" when all we want to do is match her temper tantrums with our own.

Yesterday she was invited to a playdate at my sister's.  This is nothing new.  No strangers.  No odd children to make her withdraw.  The same house she has been going to for the past four years.  A place she begs to go.

And in comes my bewilderment.  When you live with a difficult child it seems nothing is fail-proof.

We pull into the driveway and she announces that she is not staying.  I say "ok, let's just go in, say hello and see what is going on".  She clings for a minute and older well-meaning sister suggests I run when she is not looking.  I know she would be fine, but she would not be ok with me.  I'd get a lecture.  I'm getting nervous.  My child is watching me.  I'm watching my child.  My sister is watching how the whole thing is going down and my insecurities creep in.  I remember what our counselor has said ~ "pick your battles".  Is this one of my battles?  Is the playdate that important?  I was planning on errands with my 2 yr old? Could I manage them both in the store.

I stall.
I help my sister pack for work travel.
I wait for Lulu to settle in.
She's fine and I tell her I'm going to run an errand and she is going to stay for her playdate.
I wait for the reaction ~ will it be screams, cries, clinging or is there a chance I can walk out of here?
She smiles and tells me she will see me in a little bit.

Phew ~ tantrum averted. (and I'm sure I'll have an opportunity to explain what her tantrums are like some time in the near future).

I smile.  She hugs me and she's off.

She reminds me that nothing is easy in my role as a mother but on the flip side even these simple little things can be a huge success for both of us.  We take our victories where we can get them.